We are so hopeful and glad or the positive trend in Delaney's status. Lindsay and I are holding up as well as we can. We waited a long time for the MRI to complete. It's been the most stressful wait since we've been here. I know that the doctors feel this is routine but the longer it took the more we worried. She's now back in her room and we are finally going to be able to hold her.
What we are finding difficult in the hospital is trying to find a quiet space to remain calm, reflect, and recharge. The biggest struggle this morning has been trying to be as near to her as possible and still have a peaceful place to be as we wait.
The world around us keeps moving as time for us slows down to nearly a stand still. Workers, Nurses, and visitors engage in conversation and banter. I know that they are getting through their relative struggles without an awareness of the needs of others, or their impact on the peace and calm needed for our well being.
I don't fault them exactly, perhaps their exuberant laughter is what provides them the energy to support other in this place. However it doesn't change the fact that we need just twenty minutes of peace and quiet to reenergize and be prepared to support our sweet Delaney.
I just want to scream at the next person who carlessly yells across the room. Or the next person who decides that the dysfunction of Jerry Springer is more important than quiet meditation and comforting a fellow human being.
The need for people to pacify themselves with daytime tv, sarcasm, and a focus on such unimportant details rather than really making an effort to reflect on their situation makes me sick. It's not good for them, and it's making me crazy. I didn't start off today with the best image in my head. I woke up with the frightful memory of holding Delaney as paramedics arrived at our house. We were so scared. I remember thinking that I would hold her like that for as long as it takes, just to make her feel better. As I carried her out to the ambulance the police officer asked if I was cold, "I don't care" is all I could muster. The image of her staring at me trying to breathe is so haunting. I was so helpless. I just thank god every day that we were responsive enough to have called 911 and get her to the proper care without hesitation.
Keep in mind that we are forever optimistic and she has been such a fighter. We know she will get through this. We just need people around us in the hospital to be respectful, courteous, and kind.
B & L & d